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Arrow Tip #37: Don't Give Up the Remote Control

Our moods are like channels on our TVs. There are many of them and they can change as quickly and as easily as we flip between stations. But who's holding the remote control in your house? I know in our home....whoever has the remote is the one who's deciding what we get to experience for the next 2 hours. That's fun....(read sarcasm here).

How often are you giving up the remote control for your moods to other people.....who then determine how you feel and experience life, not just for the next couple of hours....but perhaps.....days, weeks, months, years??

Stop allowing other people to govern how you think, feel and experience YOUR life. I've mentioned before in other Arrow Tips that you are the one who has total control over your life because the majority of your life is actually experienced in your head! How you think affects how you feel which affects how you act and react. We get angry when other people "put us" in a negative mood but we're the ones who handed them the remote control to our feelings. However, unlike a physical remote we have to fight over....a metaphorical remote can be retrieved by a simple decision. "I'm in charge of the remote control of my moods." Then have it back. The difficulty comes in HOLDING ONTO it. We forget we're in possession of it and the next thing you know.....someone swipes it right from under our noses!! Be AWARE of where the remote control is at all times!!! Remember that you have it. For old habits to change the first step is awareness.

Now that you have the remote safely in your hands....choose a station that you enjoy. Sometimes when you're really engrossed in a drama it's hard to pull away and change the channel. This is the time to step back and remember that you're WATCHING a movie, rather than PERFORMING in the movie. Once you become the observer of your own drama, it's much easier to switch to a better station. This is what I call disrupting your programming. Just like numerous soap operas and reality shows.....some of these programs have been running for years if not much of your lifetime.

When I'm in a bad, sad, anxiety-ridden, you name it, unwanted mood...I find the most powerful way to turn that show off is to get into a state of gratitude by focusing on something I am truly thankful for. People always talk about the power of gratitude and there's a reason for's impossible to be negative while being grateful. Ah...but how to be grateful when you just don't feel like it is the question. The same way you change the channel with your remote. You don't sit there and contemplate it. You just DO IT! It's simple......" I'm not interested in this show". Next. Click. Treat your moods the same way.

"I don't like how I feel. What else is available for me to watch now?" Click. "Here's something that I'm grateful for. I'll stay on this channel for a while."

It's really that simple. But not so easy to do when it's not yet a habit. This, like every Arrow Tip, gets easier the more you practice it. These are skills you're learning. Just like all skills....they require attention and practice. Keep at it.....AND keep the remote!



  1. When you're in a "bad" mood notice that you've let go of the remote control and take it back by simply deciding...."I'm in charge here".

  2. Disrupt the program by stepping out of the role you're playing in the drama and becoming the observer.

  3. Find a more enjoyable The Gratitude Show. Even if you turn it on only for a few time, with practice, you will find that tuning in gets a whole lot easier.



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