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Arrow Tip #16: Become A Control Freak

Yep. I said it. Become a control freak! We like to be in control. If we can control things then we feel like we can predict the outcome. If we can predict the outcome then we're in a better position to protect ourselves from danger. This is the way our brains are designed. It allows us better chances for survival. It's NORMAL and quite good when we're in a life-or-death situation. However, the majority of the time we are not in a life-or-death situation.

Nowadays our control is often misplaced. Rather than focusing our effort on the things we actually DO have control over, instead, we obsess and worry about people and situations that are outside our control.

Most people would tell you to stop being so controlling. Not me! I'm going to tell you to become a CONTROL FREAK! But you need to redirect where you're placing your control. When you make a shift in where you put your focus then you will find true freedom. The truth is, you actually have control over the most important things that will affect every feeling, circumstance, and experience you have.....your own thoughts, attitudes, efforts, and behaviors. Loosen your grip on the things outside of you and focus your attention on controlling these instead....something you actually CAN control.

Here are some more things you have control over....WHOM you choose to spend time with as well as HOW you spend your time, how you react to things, and what you say. Put your efforts here. Control these.

Much of the worry, anxiety, and depression we feel comes from wanting to control things outside ourselves. Realize that you have TOTAL control over what's going on in your own mind. When you become a control freak about that then you will see how your feelings, attitudes, emotions, and experiences change. Most of us let our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes run rampant with no control whatsoever. Why do we do that?? Then we fool ourselves into believing that we're "doing" something by worrying or obsessing over ways we can control other people or situations as if that can change anything. All that does is keep us stressed out.

Do something different. You can choose to BE, THINK, FEEL and BEHAVE in any way you want to. No one is in your head but you. Place your control there.



  1. Start paying attention to your thoughts.

  2. Decide which thoughts need to be changed to bring more peace and harmony to your life.

  3. Rather than denying or resisting old thoughts, simply accept them, then choose a better thought and put your focus on that instead.

  4. Tell your mind you are in control of it rather than the other way around. (See Arrow Tip #13 to help with this. )

  5. Choose to place your efforts of control on yourself rather than others.

  6. Pay attention to your attitude and effort and change those if necessary.

  7. Take stock of who and how you are spending your time with and make appropriate changes if needed.

  8. Look at your own behavior and make changes that are more in alignment with what you want.

  9. Every time you find yourself stressed out or worried about a situation you cannot control, remind yourself that you have total control over YOU. Let that be a comfort to you.



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