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Arrow Tip #41: Manage Your Mental Conversations

Have you ever stopped for a moment to notice the voice in your head? Try it. You'll see that all day long this voice is incessantly chattering. It's always carrying on conversations....with not only yourself but also other people.

If there's any ONE thing I've tried to work on in my life it's this. When I first started this self-evolutionary process I can't tell you how many times I would catch myself deeply engrossed in my own inner convo where I'd be telling someone off, explaining why I was right, justifying why things were so hard, ranting and raving name it...shall I go on? Can anyone relate? And to this day this is still by far my biggest area of focus because I know the POWER it has to create new possibilities and lasting changes when done right.

Immersing ourselves in the negative convo scene is a sure-fire way to stay exactly where we are, creating the same unwanted outcomes for ourselves. (See Arrow Tip #17) It keeps us in an unpleasant state of mind and causes our brains to be stuck in conclusions rather than finding possibilities. (See Arrow Tip #31)

When we take a moment to listen to these mental conversations we discover what we believe to be true. Once these beliefs are uncovered we can begin dismantling the ones that don't serve us and reprogram ourselves with new beliefs that empower us. This is done through changing our thinking which affects how we feel and leads to new results and experiences.

Example: If you notice one of the constant conversations you're having with yourself is to discuss how fat you are, or how you hate to work out, you'll see that behind these words are the beliefs you hold. If you can change these thoughts to more empowering ones then in time, with persistence and repetition, new feelings, new behaviors, and new beliefs will result.

Paying attention to our "negative" mental conversations can give us a lot of information. If we utilize this info appropriately by changing the thoughts rather than staying stuck in them, then there's transformational value. (See Arrow Tip #20)

If you want to really level up your game then use the following tool. I find this to be one of the most powerful ones for me. I like to carry on mental conversations from the premise that I already have what I want. Yes, some "rational" people out there would call this delusional....but it's no more delusional to me than the other ridiculous conversations I'm making up in my head. You know, the ones revolving around what I think is true...and usually based on something I don't like and would prefer to change. We like to rant and rave about what we think is true, but it's really only TRUE TO US. Someone else with a different history, different perspective, different mindset, different triggers, might not see it the same way. We can discover some new truths as we evolve ourselves.

Here's how to do it. If there's something you wish would change, begin to have conversations with yourself that imply this change is already a done deal. Example: You have a person or situation in your life that's very difficult to deal with. Chances are you've probably spent a great deal of mental energy carrying on conversations in your head that are upsetting to you. Rather than doing that, replace those conversations with new ones that imply you're getting along fantastically or that the situation has been completely resolved. (Don't worry about the HOW.) Of course, this is all taking place in your imagination, but so are the ones that cause you distress.

As you focus on these new and improved conversations, a few things begin to take place. First, the brain will automatically start to find matching information. That's what it's a matchmaking machine. It's always looking for what's familiar because that's where it's most comfortable. (See Arrow Tip #6) Next, it creates new perspectives. New perspectives lead to new possibilities, opportunities, and solutions rather than dead ends. It also imbeds new neural pathways thus rewiring the brain. If you repeat these conversations enough then eventually these better thoughts will get embedded into the subconscious. The subconscious doesn't judge whether something is true or not. It just accepts whatever it's given as truth and we act on that. (Can anyone say marketing campaign?} And best of creates new thoughts which cause better feelings thus allowing for more optimal behaviors and experiences. And isn't that what we're really after anyway? To feel better and experience an amazing life?

What kind of inner conversations are you having about your relationships, money, job, kids, family, health, weight, your life? Are they uplifting? If not then change them. If your mind is going to spend every waking moment giving commentary and incessantly conversing with you then make sure the dialogue is coming from the perspective of "already having" what you want so you can reap the benefits!



  1. Start inwardly conversing with yourself (and/or others) from the perspective that you "already have" the change that you wish to see.

  2. Notice the conversations you're currently carrying on in your imagination that aren't serving you....even when you think they're based on truth. Change them.

  3. When your "rational mind" tells you this is fake and only in your imagination, remind it that ALL the conversations you're currently having are fake and in your imagination choose to have some that serve your highest interests and move you in a better direction.



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