top of page

Arrow Tip #33: You Need Not Fear Pain

No one wants to be in pain, be it physical, mental, or emotional. In fact, studies have been done that conclude human beings are more motivated to avoid pain than they are to seek pleasure. I can totally understand this. Having no pain sometimes sounds way more important than experiencing pleasure because pain can stop us dead in our tracks. But often it's the FEAR OF PAIN that is actually what stops us.

I've been lucky thus far in my life to have never really had any significant long-term physical pain. But when it comes to mental and emotional anguish I've had my fair share. Early in my teens, I spent a large amount of time depressed for one reason or another. As life progressed, like many people, situations could knock me to the floor and keep me there indefinitely, begging for mercy.

Everyone's life has ups and downs and these Arrow Tips are designed to help you deal with some of the "less than optimal" times by shifting your mindset and leveraging your power to create personal transformation. But uncomfortable and undesired as it can be, pain doesn't have to be ONLY bad. For example, it can be a helpful warning sign to us that something's not ok. It can also be used as a catalyst for change. It can even be beneficial if we use it as a tool for growth. That doesn't mean it's fun, or that we want more of it, but it does mean that we don't have to view it as purely a negative thing.

Truth be told, I like most people am going to avoid pain whenever possible. But in retrospect, as I began to work on myself and take charge of my thoughts and feelings, I started to see that I had become so focused on avoiding pain that it would stop me from doing things I needed or perhaps even wanted to do. Not only that....but the FEAR of being in emotional pain actually became worse than the potential pain in and of itself.

When I examined my life, I realized that as painful as some situations were, I had always made it through. I never was defeated. I got back up every time. Better. Stronger. Wiser. I WAS, AM, and will ALWAYS be OK. And not just ok.....most of the time I am FANTASTIC.

Given the choice, I would not choose pain. Sometimes we don't have THAT choice. But we do always have A choice....and one of those choices is to choose to no longer FEAR pain. My greatest fear of pain was that it was never going to end. That's how it felt. But I also discovered it was my own mind that was prolonging the pain, and making it worse. If I just would have accepted it for what it was, stopped fighting against it, stopped trying to avoid it in times that I should have been facing it, realized it wasn't as scary as I thought, then I probably would have lessened the intensity of the pain and shortened the duration of it.

Honestly, it was pain that pushed me to transform myself and my life and it's the reason I'm writing these Arrow Tips today. Without pain, I would never be where I am now. We all have stories like this. While I don't seek out pain, I no longer fear it. I know if it comes my way I will use it to my advantage by giving it transformational power rather than allowing it to paralyze me.


It's such a relief when you realize you need not fear pain.....THAT in itself greatly reduces it.



  1. Think back on your life and realize that no matter what you've gone through, you are still here. You made it through.

  2. Think about all the painful things you've had to endure and determine at least one benefit that came from it....(even if it's simply that you made it through).

  3. If you're still here, then you have to admit to yourself that you're capable of withstanding pain. So, when it comes will be ARE CAPABLE.

  4. Once you realize you're no longer need to fear it. You've done it before so you can do it again. We won't go looking for it, but we know we can handle it. Take comfort in this fact.

  5. Make a conscious decision that you will CHOOSE to no longer FEAR pain.

  6. When you find yourself in something that's causing you distress or pain, DECIDE that you will use it to your advantage as much as possible.



bottom of page