This week's Arrow Tip might seem obvious. Think Better Thoughts. It's simple. But when we get stuck in a negative state of mind, rarely do we do it. Thinking better thoughts is a CHOICE. When you think better thoughts you start moving in a better direction. (See Arrow Tip #17) Not only does thinking better thoughts help steer you in a better direction, but it also makes you FEEL better in the moment and that's CRITICAL to changing the outcomes in your life.
Whether you're worried about something or you're just in a negative space in your life, you can start to shift things by reaching for a better feeling thought. We tend to get caught up in our negative thought cycles and fixate on the things that are going wrong. How do you shift out of that? Start by stepping back and observing your thoughts without any judgment. Try this: "Oh, look at me, here I am again obsessing about _______." Going into observer mode takes you "out of the movie" and gives you some distance from the painful emotion you're caught up in. Next, see if you can come up with a better feeling thought regarding the matter. If you can't come up with something better about the topic at hand then just come up with a better thought about ANYTHING in your life. Some examples of these might be:
"Well this situation feels really tough right now but at some point, it's going to get better. It always does in the end."
"Even though I'm really worried about __________there are still many things that are going right for me. Let me think about a few of those and feel grateful for what IS working for me for the next minute or two."
"I feel really down right now but tomorrow I might feel a little better."
These examples are general in nature but they teach you the process of trying to come up with ANY thought that might feel slightly better so your brain can latch on to it without the "who are you kidding?" thought coming up. Sometimes it's hard to make a giant leap from negative thinking to positive thinking about something you're concerned about. But if you can come up with something that's slightly better then that begins to move you forward. From there keep taking baby steps finding better and better thoughts. This is how you shift out of an undesirable state of mind into one that serves you better.
ACTION STEPS:
When you're stuck in a place of worry, anxiety, depression, or any other undesired state of mind, step back and become the observer of your thoughts without judgment.
Reach for a better feeling thought. If you can make a big leap to a positive thought then great, but if you can't then just come up with any thought that feels slightly better.
Continue to come up with better feeling thoughts until you feel your mood shift.
PRACTICE staying in the better feeling thought for as long as you can.
Do this enough times so that finding the better feeling thought becomes a habit for you.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE.